Brahmacharya/control of sexual energy: a joyful choice 

“Brahmacharya” is one of the most difficult for most Westerners to understand. The classical translation is that this yama means celibacy. The actual definition of the word, however, is based on the translation of the syllables of the word. “Brahma” comes from the name of the deity Brahma; “char” means to walk and “ya” means actively.

Thus, a better translation of brahmacharya is “Walk with God.” 

There are always people for whom sexual love holds no great attraction; some celibates are naturally so. Others sacrifice this part of life to live as a monk or nun and thus to consecrate their sexuality to God.Brahmacharya does not just mean to give up sex. It is a transmutation of the energy of sex into something else, principally, devotion to God. 

Brahmacharya/householder yogi

As might well be imagined, brahmacharya has been the source of many discussions throughout the ages in all religions. But what about the householder yogis? Are they to give up sexual relations? Does this mean that if one lives in a family situation we cannot be students of yoga? Moreover, what is the beneficial effect of abstaining from sex if one is not a monk or nun? While some yoga practitioners are drawn to the practice of celibacy, not all are. In addition, some come to the practice of yoga after they are already married.

Simply to impose celibacy upon one’s partner whether he/she chooses it is not in the spirit of brahmacharya. Indeed, it is not in the spirit of ahimsa, and may in fact be the symptom of some other difficulty in the relationship. Once one is in a committed sexual relationship, the choice of celibacy by necessity must be a mutual and joyful decision.

Brachmacharya/monogamous relationship

Other interpretations of brahmacharya seem quite appropriate for the average person who has taken up the study of yoga. One interpretation is that to practice brahmacharya in this era is simply to remain faithful within a monogamous relationship. Another suggestion is simple: when you are having sex, have sex, when you are not, do not. This particular interpretation underscores the importance of remaining in the present and focusing on what is happening right now without obsession. 

Simple rule/be present in all actions, including sex

There is yet another interesting insight into the meaning of brahmacharya. It is the approach of using one’s sexual energy, like all life energies, in a way that is in harmony with the practice of ahimsa. This means that we respect our partner and ourselves when we are in a sexual relationship, we do not use others or have sex mindlessly. To do either of these things is to forget brahmacharya and to sidestep the practice of ahimsa as well. When one is practicing in the spirit of brahmacharya, one uses sexual energy to remember the divinity of self and other. To choose this path is to allow sexuality to be part of the wider practice of yoga and to acknowledge the life-enhancing power this deep connection with another human being has. It is an important choice.